How to Have Better Conversations
Last week when I came to my parents' house after a month, I found the dinner-times to be less serious and people would talk. The thing that struck me the most intensely was the fact that on the dinner tables, there were no mobile phone and no checking-emails-at-dinner-table sort of things that often pose as a hindrance in communicating with parents.
Not only small chats at dinner tables, my family even developed a special time after dinner where they would sit with a soulful cup of chamomile tea and unwind themselves and talk of things, ranging from recounting their memories of the last vacation to what they should have for lunch the next day. I could sense something unusual, something that seemed terribly out of place. After carefully analysing (which I had to do), I realised that the trick my parents used was to just initiate a topic on which everybody had some inputs. Carefully I observed how my father would avoid any topic on which only he could give input and make the conversation seem like an endless lecture. The same thing was up with my mother and she too, carefully avoided topics related to work and post-dinner time became the most relaxing, soulful time to which we all earnestly looked forward.
Some of the tricks that my parents use include talking about light issues like which plant they would get for this summer. To my utter surprise, they even have started to develop interest in the domains that my brother loves, like conversing about mighty superheroes and the recent tracks of Alan Walker. The simple psychological trick here is that people tend to develop better emotional connections with their partners of eating. Whether it is a snack time or dinner hour, eating together as a family without technical hindrances obviously tend to improve the art of conversation.
It is a fact that these days, we often fail to communicate with the people sitting next to us and get involved in the tempting world of mobiles instead. Not only for calling, for meaningless scrolling, wondering at how the life of 'influencers' can be so perfect, with a reluctance to come back to normal life. Real conversations including long and meaningful talks are getting replaced by short, superficial talks. Conversations nowadays seem to have their cradle and grave both at the word 'Hmm'. Specially for those who get to spend only some quality hours with their parents, coming home only to find everybody busy and glued to their mobiles when free, is particularly frustrating.
What I understood after spending almost two weeks at my parents' home during the end-semester break is that in order to have conversations, you need to put in effort. It can be as light as talking about the next day's menu or as complex as working on balance sheets with your parents. Staying back and pausing Netflix for a while will not harm you but the opposite might rob you off some enriching and soulful moments with your parents. Positive vibrations and comfort that parents impart are unparalleled and unarguably irreplaceable. Coming back home after a couple of months and those lazy yet comforting conversations surely makes it 'HOME' .