Updated: Aug 30, 2018
To maintain the perfect health of a relationship, you might think it is necessary to follow some guidelines or stick to some old-methods that prove to be successful when it comes to maintaining a relationship. A number of things, however, have deemed to be known as "wrong" concepts when it is associated with relationships and likely issues. If you and your partner like to take the decisions for yourselves and don't care a bit about what the rest of the world says when it comes to relationships, then this blog is undoubtedly for you !
Colbie Marie Z, a sex and relationship coach stresses on the language of love and asserts how, like spoken language, we all have a definite language in which we can communicate, reciprocate and understand love. This varies from person to person and it is least likely that two people will have the exact same conception of love.
Breaking away from shackles is as tough as it seems to be. Its not only the orthodox nature of the burden and stress that make us feel crippled, but also our own mentality that hinders our development in the right way and we are reduced to mere puppets in the hands of society and orthodox thought process. The so-called relationship taboos might seem to be downright harmful but they can actually improve the condition of your relationship and you can surely give it a try .
1) Long distance relationship
Though the very idea of a long-distance relationship or the frightening abbreviation that is in vogue nowadays , 'LDR', might pose a serious question in your mind but actually, it is one of the best experiences you can ever have. Love does not only mean dating, frequent meetups or a light brunch on a windy afternoon. Long distance relationship enables the couple to develop the power of communication through words as the chances of touch is absolutely zero. The trust and faith that is developed is sure to help the couple in the long run.
Though long distance relationship don't stagnate at that static point and often matures into a closely knit relationship of two people staying together, the compatibility thus build is worth the distance.
2) Giving Surprises
Our society loves to stereotype things and attach gender roles to it. The act of giving surprises has long been attached with the male gender and it is highly appreciated when a male does something sweet for his woman but on the other hand, the thought that females can also give surprises is rarely conceived. If you love to surprise your partner, do it! Even though many people will stereotype the act and say "You are the man of your relationship", do understand that whatever your are doing has no gender. (Did we learn English the wrong way? Do verbs really have gender?)
3) Keeping a Few Secrets
Keeping secrets from your better half might seem to be a taboo but this too can be seen in a complete light altogether that can serve the purpose of strengthening the relationship. Keeping a few secrets from your partner doesn't make you a liar but can add to the personal space one needs for self-development.
4) Pursuing Different Hobbies
Ever though how tough it might be for a bibliophile and a cinephile to get together and develop common interests? We know how hard it becomes for a book lover to appreciate the cinematic adaption of a book and if you always try to abide by the golden rules of relationship, trying to have common hobbies might end in arguments and disapproval. On the other hand, however, it is downright healthy for couples to pursue different hobbies that can nurture them to be better person.
5) Talking About Exes
Let's admit it. We all have a past, right? A domain that is inhabited by cruel exes. Exes and present relationship may seem like a perfect oxymoron ,but hold on! Many people detest the idea of bringing the topic of exes as that makes them feel that they aren't yet over them. If a couple talks freely about exes, that is supposed to strengthen their understanding and bring two people close to one another.
6) Not Sleeping Together
It is a popular opinion that in order to have a healthy relationship, you need to be spooning your partner in bed, if you live together. Well, that actually might not be the case for everyone. If the sleeping habits of your partner disturbs your normal course of sleep,feel free to take your pillow and shift to another room to have a nice sleep. Jokingly known as the sleep divorce, this has actually been beneficial for a number of couples. As long as it is not formed out of the desire to avoid intimacy or spend time together, this is not harmful.
7) Going On Vacation Alone
Being in a relationship shouldn't ever snatch away the basic rights of a human. While it might make people suspect some problem in your relationship if you go on a vacation alone, the quality time you will spend alone will undoubtedly add to your understanding of things better. We all need some space to nurture our process of being a better human being and if going on a vacation after a hectic phase helps you to rejuvenate, then why not?
8) Not texting each other all the day
It might seem damn romantic for two people to text each other all day long but if a couple doesn't, that, in any way, make their love less romantic. Two people can be romantically in love and still not text each other and that's perfectly O.K. According to Jonathan Bennett, a certified counsellor, some couples do find it better to interact with their partners at the end of a day rather than texting all throughout the day in bits.
9) Being Emotional
When I was a child, the question that intrigued me was why my father,uncle or grandad didn't cry ,while i had seen my mother and other females of my family cry. I remember bringing forth this question in front of my grandaunt, in return of which I got a better understanding of the gender of verbs. This is where we face stereotypes. It is always expected of a man that he will stay strong no matter what happens. According to a few psychologists in the UK, men who live under the pressure of being immovable by ten thousand hells often face problems in communicating with their partner that results in break-up or separation. The basic fact is that men are also humans, they also have emotions that should be cared and nurtured.
10) Let's Talk About Money, Honey!
So you might not like to bring up the topic of splitting bills at the very first date but doing so in the long run will definitely add to the better understanding of each other. If you want the finances not to be a burden, you should definitely start talking about monetary issues and stuff even though it is a big "No! No!" in the golden book of relationships. When you finally make the choice of discussing finances, it can help avoiding conflicts if you intend to share a bank account together.
Being a long distance relationship since 2013, I have learnt when and how to mould things to suit my purpose of leading a better and healthy life. Let me know in the comment section below what taboo(s) have you broken for a better relationship !